How does becoming a parent change you? Everyone always says, you won’t know how becoming a parent changes you until you become one. This seems so obvious and I used to only think of the selfish reasons why it would change me.
The days of sleeping in will end. Late nights of being social will reach a new level of torture the following day. Being able to freely go and do as you please will be a thing of the past. My body that I try so hard to keep fit will be stretched and never the same. And I will be forced to become an adult (or at least act like one) because you are responsible for raising one.
While all of these statements are 100% true, this feeling of becoming a parent and this love for someone you just met and how it changes you physically, emotionally, and mentally is something out of this world. The altitude of feelings and emotions one goes through is such a surreal sentiment that I find myself being thankful every day because of it. These are some of the things how becoming a parent has changed me and how parenthood could change you!
Becoming more selfless. I used to care way too much about myself. I didn’t even realize this until after I had a baby. What I wore, what my hair looked like, or how I was feeling that particular day… the list goes on and is most likely my individual selfishness but everyone who becomes a parent feels a variation of this. You can’t even help it. I remember when I was single, kid-free, looking into my future with children and being so worried about sharing my, what I thought was a busy schedule, time to care for someone other than myself.
When I held our little baby boy for the first time, all I cared about was this new little life and his future. I love this part about parenthood and it’s very liberating. What you previously cared about all changes and that’s ok, in fact it’s better. My priorities have shifted away from myself and on to others. This gives me more purpose in life that I didn’t have before and that ultimately makes me a happier person.
Time management. Before I used to procrastinate and now I have a radar focused, need-to-get-it-done mentality. Why? Because we (mothers) have to and time is limited.
Limited because the child is starving and needed food like 30 minutes ago hence the Tasmanian devil toddler temper tantrum tearing through your kitchen. Because now I have to get myself ready as well as a toddler who doesn’t ever want to keep his socks on. Because company is coming over and the once spotless house now has spilled milk on the carpet and toys strategically placed in every obvious living space.
Your schedule inevitably revolves around your baby. Anytime you used to have for yourself, dissipates. And that’s ok. Now you could set a clock for my household habits. I have a pretty set routine when it comes to household chores because as a full time parent with a full time job, I have to fit it in with my kids’ schedule. Deadlines, appointments, and my never ending to do list have become my biggest motivators and there’s no room for procrastination.
Reality check. Yes, I am one of those mothers that is SO SORRY for what I thought before I became a mother. It’s a harsh world out there and now I’m living it. I’ve dragged my almost nap-time toddler through target trying to get last minute essentials, all well my toddler screams at the top of his lungs and while I tried to keep my head up high, I could sense all eyes on us. There are so many right and wrong ways to raise a child and things we should or shouldn’t be doing as a parent, but the reality of it is that most of us are hanging on by a thread. What to feed your child, nap times, progression stages, activities to enroll your kids in, how to properly discipline your child… the list goes on. I try and I do my best.
There’s nothing like being responsible for a tiny life to make you aware of how human you are. Sometimes I have to laugh at the chaos and I am proud that I can tie everything together as a family. I’m far from perfect and of course my toddler will disobey me but I’ve come to realize that it’s actually okay! Now, I have full respect for those mothers out there dealing with same challenges, same meltdowns and now I have empathy for all the parents out there.
My relationship with my husband grew. My husband and I had been trying to get pregnant for over a year with no success. We also experienced hardships that had challenged our relationship with each other. We’ve had so many highs and lows but from the day we found out we were pregnant, we were glowing. I’m not saying that becoming a parent is the answer to a relationship because that will never be the case. Relationships are something that you always have to work at and parenthood could definitely make it more challenging and stressful. Parenthood is scary, challenging, rewarding, and such a huge, amazing adventure to go through together. It has made me realize what a solid team we are.
Seeing my husband help me through pregnancy and seeing him love our child, is an indescribable, amazing feeling. My love continues to grow for him watching him be such an amazing father.
My life has a focused purpose. I am responsible for raising this little human to be the best human he can be. Kind of a lot of pressure but also rewarding. When I see this little human learning something new that we taught him, it touches my heart.
My life now has an undeniable purpose. It’s now obvious where my priorities and focus should be (marriage, kids, family). I look forward to teaching, learning, exploring, and helping him through the highs and lows of life. I’m not just a mom and motherhood does not define me. However, it’s a top priority that gives my life more direction and meaning than I have ever felt before. I love it. Our little boy made us a family. He belongs to us, we belong to him, and we all complete each other. I’m forever grateful that this is our new life because it gives me so much happiness.
What has changed about you after having kids? Are you about to become a parent and nervous about how it will change you, please tell me about it! Thank you for reading and I’d love to hear your thoughts!
Xoxo, Rachael
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